Alright guys, so I just had to come here and say less about whats been going on the past few days, and more about whats been going through my head lately.
Sometimes we dont feel secure enough in ourselves. Feeling like we cant make a difference, we shouldnt worry about how we behave because it wont affect anyone in the long run, or even monitoring the thoughts running through our heads. Throughout my entire walk of faith Ive been taught time and time again that I need to set a good example. Especially lately Ive been feeling irritable and things have been getting to me lately, but i try to keep them inside to get things from escalating, and let me tell you, its NOT easy. I have to constantly watch myself in order to make sure Im doing what I should be doing, sometimes I can achieve that, and others, I crash and burn.
Lately, Ive had several people come to me to ask me advice, or not even asking it, but saying something that I believe I should assist with. And lately through some of this Ive definately realized that all people were not raised on the same values, or in the same way as I am, which makes everything all the bit more difficult. I try to impose the way that I think of situations on people that dont nearly have the same perspectives as me, which turns into some conflict, but through learning how to control myself and teaching myself how to handle these situations I think improvment is imminent.
Some people over the course over the past year have mentioned how they respect me, or even to the point that they look up to me, sort of as a role model. This makes me more self conscious of both my behavior and what I say in front of other people. Several times ive been asked on surveys what the greatest feeling is, and that is definately a hard one, but the feeling of knowing that youve made a difference in someones life to some degree ranks at the top. I love helping people out and making differences in their lives, I just hope that throughout my walk with God I learn how to make more and more positive impacts.
On a less deep side note, we have a soccer game coming up on Friday at 5:30 against the GW, so come out and watch. Ill try to keep game updates for you guys.
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Even though you may just not start feeling like a role model, you've been one all along. I mean, you have a little brother! And, I'm sure he's not the only one who looked up to you before.
ReplyDeleteGood luck, Friday :] Whee are you guys playing, do you know?
hey dude, dont let the pressure get to you, find a way to constructively release it. man, i dont know why anyone wouldnt look up to you, ur a great guy who loves god. and all i can say is, you dont have to be perect (though that is our goal). be who God wants you to be, not what people feel you have/ should to be. sorry if i was confusing and unhelpful, and if you ever need to vent on someone without the regret, i am tottally available.
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